Gold Wings and Sparrowhawk - Chapter 10

October 2nd 1999
Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo

Nell closed the lid and sat down on the toilet. She was holding her future in her hands. One line and her life would go on without a hitch. Two lines and her life... her life would change forever.
She waited one minute. Two minutes...

Virginie stepped into the apartment yelling « NELL !! ».

Nell jumped and walked into the living room. « What ? »

« I've been knocking on the door for the last ten minutes ! What were you doing ? Didn't you hear me ? »

« Sorry... I got... distracted. »

« By what ? You're okay ? »

« I... »

She looked at the white plastic stick. « My life is about to change. »

« Oh my Gosh ! You're pregnant ? »

Nell sat on the sofa, Virginie in front of her on the coffee table.

« Yeah... »

Virginie looked at her friend with concern. « Is that good news or bad news ? »

« I don't know. I have no idea what to do about it. »

« We could make a decision tree. »

Nell stared at Virginie. « A what ? »

Virginie got up, took a sheet of paper and drew a box. Inside, she wrote 'Baby ?'. She drew another box, and a line connecting the two.

« First answer is 'No', which leads to 'Back to normal' in a couple of weeks. Second answer, » she wrote in another box, « is yes. »

She started drawing lines and boxes while enumerating all possibilities.

« If you have the baby, you can either give it up for adoption, or keep it. And if you keep it, you can either keep it to yourself, or share with the dad. Who's the dad, by the way ? You haven't been with anyone since you broke up with Charles. At least that I know of. »

« I told you about Dubrovnik. Well, I left a detail out. When we got back to the hotel, Harm and I... we kinda... jumped on each other. Survival instinct I guess. »

« Are you going to tell him ? »

« I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is I can't fly anymore. »

Virginie stayed silent.

« I need to see a doctor and have some blood work done. He will tell the General, who will ground me. And once I'm grounded, the squadron will want to know why. Rumors go fast, so I'll have to tell them as well. Everybody will know even before I call my parents to announce the news. »

She sighed. « I have to take a decision first. »

« How far along are you ? Three, four weeks ? »

« Twenty-three days. »

« You still have all options available. »

Nell didn't talk for a minute.

« The first thing you should do is talk with the doctor. He'll give you a physical, answer your questions. He's no OB-GYN, but he has some fancy equipment. »

« Yeah. I'll ask him if he can keep it quiet for a few days. Thanks Ginny. »

They hugged. « You're welcome. I'm here for you, always. »

« I know. »

Later that week, Nell walked into the doctor's office.

« Twenty-seven days. All right, let's see what we have here. I'm not a specialist, but it's not my first pregnancy sonogram. »

He covered Nell's belly with gel and put the probe down. At first, Nell saw only grey and white. The sounds were coming from her insides, her own heartbeat. The doctor moved the probe around, trying to check everything. And then he stopped, pushed. And Nell heard a flutter, fast and strong.

« We have a heartbeat. Here it is. »

The white and grey became more definite and she saw a teeny tiny white thing on the black.

« It's very early yet, so arms and legs don't show up. »

He turned knobs on his machine and the white thing became bigger.

« But you're definitely pregnant. I'll wait for you in my office while you get dressed. » He turned off the machine, but the last image remained on the screen.

Nell stayed alone with her thoughts, and the image of... her future baby. It did look more like a blob at this stage, but she had heard the heartbeat. And knew she was going to cross one of the boxes on her chart.

This baby was staying with her.